


salvation

by daintyhan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 15:32:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17552312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintyhan/pseuds/daintyhan
Summary: sicheng wiped his eyes and nose as he stood up with the help of the other. “thank you” was all sicheng said and soon after he was evolved in a warm hug that gave off hopeful vibes. sicheng teared up once again and tried to swallow the newly formed lump in his throat. “don’t hide it anymore. let it out, keeping it in the inside will kill you” the man spoke once again and sicheng followed his words, afterall he was right, it was killing him.





	salvation

he was dying out.

sicheng’s bright eyes didn’t shine anymore. his smile was fake, painted. he felt as if he had no purpose. the light in his life was gone and he was now evolved in complete darkness with no escape and it drove him to insanity.

he cried every night, praying that the one he loved would come back and bring back the light with him. yet he continued on living, waiting for the day his prayers would be answered and he could receive a reason to live that he could cling to. he just wanted validation.

he wanted to validate the thought that he could get out of this and that someday in the future he will learn how to feel truly happy. but until then he would be known as the masked boy. it was so easy yet so hard to see the mask he wore everyday, but even if you couldn’t see the mask, you can oh so clearly tell something in the inside is killing him.

or maybe something has already died.

sicheng left everything behind after his muse disappeared. he left dancing, singing, even simple things as reading comic books have been left behind. all but drawing. drawing, as sicheng now saw it, was the only way in which he could express his pain without feeling like he was being physically ripped apart. 

his favorite thing to draw was a black rose whose petals had begun to fall. Every day sicheng drew the rose with less and less petals but with more thorns.

and every single one of those roses were sent to the same person.

lee taeyong.

that stupidly good looking man who had torned sicheng apart in a matter of seconds. the same man that had left sicheng with no more than a “you’re not good enough” and a message explaining that he was deeply in love with a boy who lived in the u.s. and that’s where he is now. in america living his life happily with his boyfriend and a stable job as a small rapper. sicheng knew all about it.

he had always wondered was it it about him that i don’t have? was it because he wasn’t korean and had a slight accent? was it because his voice wasn’t honey smooth and sweet like? was it because ugly? he felt his heart shatter a little more at each possibility. 

it all got worst once the calendar hit the date july first.

taeyong’s birthday.

sicheng roamed the streets of seoul in despair and agonizing pain. he couldn’t deal with all the memories that were rushing into his mind. all the laughs, all the ‘i love you’ s, all those good times that would be thrown in the trash hurt far too much for him to handle. it got so bad to the point where he dropped to his knees in an empty street and just cried. 

he sobbed until it wasn’t sobs that came out of him but rather painful screams filled with pure hatred and regret. not once did he quieten or care for who could be listening to him. he simply let his lips tremble as a surprisingly cold hand touched his shoulder in what he thought was an attempt of gaining his attention. 

“i couldn’t help but hear you and just feel hatred towards whoever or whatever made you feel like this. you don’t know me, but please let me the shoulder you lean on for tonight” the voice that belonged to the hand spoke in a poetic way which made sicheng feel at ease for a moment. the voice had a light tint of an accent and as sicheng turned around he realized it belonged to a very good looking man, so much so that he almost looked unreal. 

sicheng wiped his eyes and nose as he stood up with the help of the other. “thank you” was all sicheng said and soon after he was evolved in a warm hug that gave off hopeful vibes. sicheng teared up once again and tried to swallow the newly formed lump in his throat. “don’t hide it anymore. let it out, keeping it in the inside will kill you” the man spoke once again and sicheng followed his words, afterall he was right, it was killing him. 

they stayed like that for a few minutes, sicheng just crying and the man comforting him in a way that no one had ever. it felt nice. it was like some hope was finally revealing itself and sicheng couldn’t be more grateful. 

sicheng had agreed to be taken back to the man’s place for the night. not the safest idea but he had no clue of where he was and he couldn’t help but feel that this was supposed to happen. it was all too perfect. and that was what scared him.

because taeyong had been perfect too.

“hey...my name’s sicheng” he awkwardly said while they walked towards the others home. he heard a chuckle in response and he swore that he had never ever been so grateful for the darkness of the night, for it was doing an amazing job of hiding his embarrassment. “sicheng, what a nice name. i’m yuta” he answered. yuta. that was a nice name too. 

“thank you for giving me your shoulder to lean on.” sicheng could finally finish his sentence. “hey you got nothing to thank me for. it’s a summer night, you should be having fun not crying. plus, a new friend can’t do too much harm now can it?” yuta reasoned with the other who nodded “i could use a new friend” he answered with a small smile that for once wasn’t so much of a mask, but nonetheless it still held some melancholy in it. 

yuta may not have known this, but sicheng felt his heart swell for the other already, he knew he got attached easily but their encounter felt meaningful. how was it possible that an utterly random stranger made him feel so safe and comfortable with just the way he looked at him when his own friends had shut him out? he wanted to believe it was just a mere coincidence but something told him that it wasn’t, but he tried to forget it because he knew that if he was wrong everything could come crashing down once again.

“what are you thinking about?” yuta’s voice smoothly sounded through the others ears. “just..life you know? it’s all so weird.” sicheng rambled on about how life confused him, how it picked random people that should raise up in all their glory and left the others to try and survive on their own. and yuta listened. he listened with no complain and one would have mistaken him for not paying attention but god knows that yuta was listening to every word as if it was the only thing that mattered at the moment.

and in a sense it was. 

“...anyways i’m sorry i talk too much” sicheng ended as he bit the inside of his cheek in a nervous matter. “you really don’t, your voice is so smooth and it’s pretty quiet too. full homo but i could listen to you talk for days.” yuta said causing sicheng to giggle at the ‘full homo’ part. yuta had to smile, his giggle was as adorable as his appearance.

“we’re here” yuta said as they stopped in the middle of the streets to be faced with a small apartment building that was a soft sky blue tone. they went up 6 floors and entered a not too small but neither too big apartment which interiors were beautifully decorated. it was really a view sicheng could and would gladly get accustomed to. “there’s a spare room you can sleep in. or if you want my room that’s fine too” yuta calmly spoke as he turned the light on. “oh god, i could never take your room. spare room is more than enough” sicheng gratefully answered in slight panic of being disrespectful. 

“hey it’s okay. spare room is literally an exact copy of mine so i guess it was a win-win situation either way” yuta answered as a yawn took him over. “it’s rather late you should go to sleep.” sicheng noted “i won’t sleep until you do.” yuta argued as he stared at the other. sicheng just sighed and went to the room he was staying in for the night. “there’s some spare clothes in the closet if you want. good night sicheng” yuta smiled as he stood in the doorframe. “good night yuta” he said as he waved dismissively. 

that was the first night in which no black rose was drawn.

and yet sicheng still stayed awake for another hour or two. 

because he was scared. scared of this being all a dream and he would wake up alone back in his depressing apartment. he really didn’t want to go back. so he stood up and walked as quietly as he could towards a big window he had seen in the living room.

he faintly opened the curtain and peeked, his breath catching in his throat a little as he looked down and realized that maybe 6 floors up was quite high, but he couldn’t deny the beauty of the view.

he flinched as he felt that cold hand on his shoulder once again. “can’t sleep?” yuta asked with evident tiredness written on his face. “yeah..you should go back to sleep, you seem very tired yuta, i’m sorry for waking you” sicheng softly apologized as he took the others hand and led him to his room. “good night again” sicheng said and giggled as he realized that yuta was out cold in a few seconds.

this can’t be a dream. the chinese male silently prayed in his head as he directed himself to the room he had been lent. he slid under the covers and closed his eyes, trying to block every thought of his ex, in which he surprisingly succeeded once he started thinking about how yuta’s apartment was almost addictingly aesthetic. soon enough a soothing slumber took him over.

the next morning felt bright, like it was bound to be good. sicheng arose to the smell of something sweet, strawberry maybe. he quickly rubbed the sleep out of his hazel eyes and moved to the kitchen in almost a panicked manner, as if to see if yuta was real, and not some kind of hallucination his mind had mustered up in a way to escape his eternal sadness. 

“good morning!” he heard as soon as his figure was visible in the kitchen which was white with few black accessories. “morning yuta” sicheng replied with a relieved smile, he’s real. 

“i don’t know what you like to eat for breakfast since we met like hours ago..so i made some fruit with toast! i also poured some nutella on the strawberries, thought you might like it” yuta said in a rushed way, a little nervous. but of course he was, first impressions were always meaningful and he sure hoped he was making a good one. 

“i love it, thanks. you really didn’t need to bother making this, i should probably leave soon anyways” sicheng quickly said as he sat in front of the other. they had a comfortable conversation that was very well appreciated by both. for once sicheng didn’t feel like he was saying all the wrong things.

they found that they actually had a lot of things in common, like the fact that they were both foreigners living in korea. they could both relate to the struggles of learning about a whole new language and culture. it was nice to meet other people who had been through similar experiences. 

they talked comfortably until around midday, when sicheng decided to leave as he claimed to be too much of a bother, to which yuta disagreed. 

“yutaaa i need to go! i may not be a bother but i have a dog back in my apartment and i have to feed him, he probably already finished his food” sicheng reasoned. yuta just smiles at the idea of sicheng having a dog, he loved animals but sadly didn’t own one.

“i don’t want you to leave but you better hurry up home you don’t want your doggo to starve!” yuta said as he playfully ‘kicked’ sicheng out. “doggo?” sicheng giggles at the word, he found it cute.

“go feed your dog!” yuta said as he waved to sicheng who walked down the hallway towards the elevator. sicheng waved back as he answered ‘will do’ before taking his phone out and calling up a taxi.

sicheng felt warm in the inside, he slightly smiled as he saw his phone light up with a message from ‘yuta !!’ asking him to tell him if he got home safely. sicheng couldn’t help it but still be a little bit scared, the last time he had felt like this he had been utterly destroyed. but he just could not shake the feeling that yuta wasn’t like that.

and he hoped that he was right.

⚍⚎⚍

in the span of a few months sicheng and yuta has grown closer, and the change in sicheng was visible to everyone. he had gone back to dancing, gaining more friends and even going back to some of his old friends.

he had started to get himself back on track, no longer skipping as many meals, no longer being completely silent. it was like he was really living again.

and sicheng thanked yuta for all his improvements. every single little thing.

because sicheng had told him about taeyong and how he had broke him. he told him of his dreams that he had left behind and how he wanted to get back into them. to give a little purpose to his sad life.

since then, yuta has taken it as his task to help sicheng achieve his dreams. which was being a professional dancer, in all honesty yuta really believed the younger could achieve this. once in a hot afternoon, sicheng had insisted on taking yuta to watch him practice one of his favorite choreographies that he had been practicing lately.

to say the least, sicheng had performed it flawlessly. his every move was perfectly calculated and it was simply mesmerizing to watch him dance, every step, every move, all the emotions he portrayed in his dancing was so perfect. he was never far from being a professional dancer. 

“you should sign up for the dance competition the dance studio is hosting” yuta had encouraged sicheng one day when they were laying on the elders bed just listening to artists like dean and iu. 

“do you think i’m skilled enough?” sicheng had asked incredulously. “you’re more than skilled! sicheng i’ve seen you dance, you really have skill.” yuta had argued back, meaning every single word that had just slipped past his lips. sicheng eyes light up as he looked at yuta once he had finished speaking. 

what yuta didn’t know was that no one had ever supported sicheng as much as yuta has in the span of a few months. even since little he had some family problems with his family and friends, but he had received some support nonetheless. yet he could confidently claim that yuta has been the most supportive of his dreams. it was heartwarming to say the least.

to yuta’s excitement the younger had agreed on joining the contest.

“i’m nervous, no nervous is too low..i’m mortified” sicheng couldn’t help but feel that his skills weren’t good enough right before it was his turn to go up to the small stage. aside from the fact that he had seen a lot of people demonstrated what sicheng thought was excellence, he was nervous at the amount of people that seem to have gathered to watch the contest. it was nerve wracking to just think about how many of those people would be judging him as soon as he stepped on the stage. it had sicheng wondering if it was too late to back out. 

“don’t be! you’ll do amazing i’m 1000 and 1 percent sure!” yuta said cheerfully as he held his phone to his ear. yuta hadn’t been allowed to go backstage with the performers, which was understandable, therefore sicheng called him from backstage while yuta stood right in front of the stage as he had gotten priority since he had technically been invited by a contestant. 

in all honesty yuta was hyped to see the other perform. he truly believed in sicheng, he really believed he could win the competition fair and square. he lightly smiled as he hears sicheng giggle at his statement, his giggles was soft and gentle, pleasant to yuta.

“alright, alright...i have to go now, i just got told that i’m next” sicheng said with a tone that was slightly excited but more nervous “wish me luck” the younger said as he heard yuta answer “you won’t need it but good luck”. he hung up and stood up with his legs wobbling slightly, and practiced some of the harder moves. 

he quickly got on stage as he heard his stage names, winwin, get called to perform move by taemin. his heart pounded against his rib cage as the music started, he looked down to realize that the crowd looked larger now. sicheng’s breath caught on his throat as he felt the stares of the audience started to feel as if they were needles piercing through him. yuta started to notice his discomfort and waved his hand slightly to catch the others attention.

sicheng noticed the movement and immediately felt a wave of reassurance hit him as yuta gestured for him to breath in, which he did. soon he started dancing and closed his eyes slightly as he danced. to yuta, he was beautiful. the grace his every move had was addicting. yuta smiled to himself as he watched him dance, he was proud of him. he was proud of the fact that he had been so broken he had been when they met, but know he had managed to gain some confidence back and was now even able to perform in front of a whole crowd. yuta was even more proud of the fact that he had partially helped in the process. 

as soon as his performance had started, it also came to an abrupt end. for a split second, everyone seemed to be in awe, no one moved or talked. but that was soon over when the clapping started, causing sicheng to look at the audience once more to see yuta practically beaming at him while clapping, it felt like they were sharing a special moment despite there being many more people around them. 

once sicheng returned to his senses he bowed slightly and ran out of the stage, he smiled to himself as he saw that somehow yuta was already waiting for him nearby the doors that led out of backstage. they stood there looking at each other before sicheng abruptly ran to yuta and just hugged him, which took the japanese man by surprise, but it didn’t take long for him to finally hug him back. 

“thank you- just. thank you. i couldn’t have done this without you” sicheng repeated the words ‘thank you’ over and over until yuta told him that it was okay. “you don’t owe me anything, this was all by yourself” yuta claimed as he slightly untangled himself from the other. 

sicheng gained a lot of attention after the competition. Many people complimenting his flawless dancing, later on getting even more praise as people soon found out he had also studied traditional chinese dance.

meanwhile yuta has also taken a music related path. he had started to work as a producer for small artists. yuta was more than happy with his current life, the one thing he could say he was missing was love. fortunately, or unfortunately, he already has someone in mind.

as if it wasn’t obvious, yuta was completely smitten when it came to sicheng. it has been around a year and a half since sicheng’s first performance, even a longer time since they had met in that fateful night. it really didn’t take long for yuta to love him. 

he had been been thinking lately, he’d already taken sicheng out in dates, but could the other see him as something else than a friend? he knew sicheng had taken a long time to recover from his last relationship.

yuta always got a small heartache as he thought about how utterly broken the other had been. he couldn’t bring himself to hurt the other. 

sicheng was in a similar situation. after all yuta had done for him, he had some kind of feelings for him. was he ready for another relationship? maybe, with yuta he felt safe, he didn’t feel pressured at any point and it just felt so right to be with him. 

still, there was always that irrational fear of being extremely hurt all over again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. specially if he was hurt by a person who had helped him ‘heal’.

they were both in a state of confusion about each other, but it was undeniable that there was always some kind of spark in between them.

when work and responsibilities started to build up for both of them, yuta had a breaking point. he just couldn’t handle keeping his feeling in, even if he knew damn well that admitting to them could end up in a catastrophe. he silently prayed that wouldn’t be the case. 

after work yuta would usually go back to his apartment and eat, at that time sicheng would’ve just came home from giving dancing lessons so he’d rather not bother him. but this time he just couldn’t wait.

he knocked on the others apartment quite desperately, and waited for an answer. sicheng opened the door and was surprised to see yuta. “yuta..what are you doing here? it’s kind of late” sicheng mused as he nudged the other inside. 

“i know, i know...i just have to get something off my chest” yuta said as he sighed and prepared himself “sicheng we’ve known each other for a while now and i don’t regret any of the things we’ve done together but i just have to tell you something that’s been on my mind for a while..sicheng i love you. i love you, not like a friend but as something more. you’re the most amazing human i’ve met and my heart speeds up everytime you smile and i just can’t get you of my mind and i know i’m such a mess but please sicheng, make the happiest fucking human in this world and be my boyfriend” yuta was practically panting when he finished. he looked up to see a very flustered sicheng who’s mouth was slightly open. 

yuta himself flushed as he realized he had basically poured his heart out. there was an anxious silence that came in between them. yuta was almost about to apologize and leave when it the silence when for around 30 seconds. he turned on his heels until he felt a pull on his shirt from the back.

“don’t go” sicheng said as he looked up to teary-eyed sicheng. “yuta, you have helped me so so much i’m this past few years, without you i don’t know if i’d even be here and god dammit i owe you a lot. i have to admit i’m really scared of the future. but yuta i adore you, love is too little to describe what i feel for you- and- and-“ sicheng was breathing heavily, he really could let express how he felt about yuta but all he knew is that he really loved yuta.

yuta slowly walked to sicheng and hugged him. he waited until the other relaxed in his hold to start talking. “is that a yes?” yuta asked with a honey smooth voice. sicheng chuckled and nodded, he had just admitted his love for yuta and he had the audacity to ask if it was a yes? wack.

that night yuta didn’t return home, but stayed at his newly labeled boyfriend. sicheng couldn’t be more grateful for this moment. he could now name the reason behind his recovery; nakamoto yuta. the same boy who went from a complete stranger with a poetic way of speaking, to his dorky boyfriend that couldn’t go a day without hugging him.

and the black roses?

long forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> this took a while but i'm semi proud of this uwu
> 
>  
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/xieere)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/hwasmars)


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